I heard a song on the radio this morning that really struck me and reminded me so much of you and how much you've taught me. Yes I mean that. You have taught me and mommy so much! And you are only still so young! I can't imagine the day when we can have full conversations and I can teach you about some of the things you've taught me.
Emily, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I really mean that. From the day you were born you changed who I was. I thought I knew most everything until you showed me different. You awakened me to a world that I never knew existed. Thank you!
This song I heard on the radio this morning reminded me of how much me and mommy have been through with you. All the hospital visits, tests and sleepless days and nights. All the times we worried about you and just held on to each other because that's all we really had left. You showed me a side of God that I never knew before. You've allowed me to experience the real, living, merciful and mighty God of the universe! In our worried sleepless nights we have felt God holding us together. As we lean over your bed/couch and look in your eyes and see that smile you sometimes give us we always see one of God's PERFECT angels and know that even though it might look bad everything is still so perfect.
Emily, you have taught me to see beyond just what's in front of my face. You have taught daddy what is most important in life. I used to think that having enough money to live comfortably and being able to do whatever I wanted without fear was everything. I used to think that my real friends were the ones who told me what I wanted to hear. But you Emily, you've shown me who my real friends are. The ones who call to check on you, not me. Those are the real friends in life.
Again, this song is still stuck in my head at this very moment! I think it could be our theme song! I can't wait until you get bigger and I can play this for you and you can help me decide if it will be our song!
I held you in our chair and rocked you last night. You love when I do that! But you are growing up so fast and getting so big it's getting harder to do. I love the way you look up at me when I rock you. I love that you try to talk to me! And deep down inside I think I know what you're trying to say to me so it's just the same as if you were really saying it. I know in your heart you are.
You brighten my day Emily. You make all things right again when daddy is stressed out at the end of the day. All I have to do is hold you or play with you. I get lost in loving you so much. I think about the things we are going to do when you grow up to be a big girl. There's so many things I want to teach you and tell you about. So many times I've thought about how it will be. How it will be when we kick that old seizure monsters butt and kiss Infantile Spasms goodbye forever!! IT WILL HAPPEN!!!
Until then though Emily, daddy is going to keep learning from you. You are the best teacher daddy has ever had. I'm loving you more and more each and every day. Daddy thanks God for you each and every night. Daddy thanks Jesus for watching over you and I thank all the angels that surround you and keep you safe. You have a bunch of people surrounding you and watching over you Emily!! YOU ARE SO LOVED!!!
Ok Emily, here is the song that daddy heard this morning and the one that I just can't get out of my head. I will play it for you so you can hear it with me.
It's times like these (with you) I learn to live again!
It's times like these (with you) I learn to give again!
It's times like these (with you) I learn to love again!
It's times like these time and time again Emily.
I LOVE YOU!!