Thursday, March 4, 2010

I Don't Understand

I don't understand Infantile Spasms.

I don't understand how things can be good one minute, several minutes, several hours, several days and then in an instant it's back to square one.

I don't understand how all these medicines work fine for a while (long enough to get our hopes up) and then they become ineffective.

I don't understand why my precious little girl has to go through this.

I don't understand why a cure for this hasn't been discovered yet when we've been on this earth for so long.

I don't understand how our world seems to have paused while everyone else's continues to spin.

I don't understand how I'm supposed to just keep "going through the motions" when what I really want to do is scream!

I don't understand how Job did it!!

I don't understand why Jesus would want to do it.

And I really don't understand why it exists.

I don't understand suffering.


  1. Oh my friend... there are just some things that we aren't meant to understand, because we couldn't handle the knowledge. I don't understand cancer... IS... MS... I don't understand why one minute someone is here, and the next they are gone... and truly, I am not sure that I would want to understand, because I am sure that as much as my heart already aches and breaks in these instances, I would become so broken that I might never recover. Understand??? That is for God alone... and like so many other instances in life, I am thankful that it is HIS to bear, and not mine. I love you... just as I love Erica and just as I love Emily... and as much as I love you... GOD... he loves you MORE!!!

  2. I was thinking the same thing Lynn said - some things I dont think we CAN understand...

    but hold onto the things you DO understand
    *God loves you & is with you through it all!!!
    *you have friends & family that love you & hurt FOR you
    *you WILL get through this - ALL of you will get through this - somehow, someway
    *Tomorrow is a new day that holds hope
    *You will be never be forsaken!!!!
    Hang in there buddy....