Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Okay, so what I'm about to share is something that I am freaking out a little bit about to be totally honest with you. I feel like God is taking me someplace that I never dreamed of going. A place where all my biggest fears are going to be laid out and I'm going to have to face them head-on. The only thing I am feeling right now is fear and anxiety but at the same time I am somehow feeling anticipation and eagerness because it's hard to say what God wants to do in me through this.

Yesterday as I was cutting grass, (the time when I do a lot of my thinking, praying and reflecting), God spoke something to me that made me stop dead in my tracks. This is what it sounded like...

"I want you to write a letter to anyone and everyone you care about or means anything to you, (for some reason my brother was the one I kept thinking of the most) and tell them exactly what you would say to them if you knew that tomorrow would be your last day on earth"!!!

I nearly lost it! And since God spoke those words to me yesterday I haven't been able to shake it at all. In fact later that day Erica and I was watching the special on Randy Pausch author of The Last Lecture and it drove home the point even more! The special featured the life of Randy and progressed throughout his first getting the diagnosis of cancer, to the last lecture speech, and right up to just before he passed away.

For some reason God is taking me down this road and I have no idea why. In fact it scares me, bad! But I know that I will not have been led down this road in vain. I'm trusting God to grow something out of this. And if it is only for me to learn and get a better appreciation for the gift of life itself then it will be worth it.

God I'm trusting you in this. Your will be done!


  1. Joe, this is so powerful. I have to tell you that I have recently watched as Satan has used the fears and weaknesses of those I know and love (even me!!) to work against what God wants... so I will be praying for you in this matter... that you will do God's will and that Satan will be unable to discourage you through your fear! 1 Peter 1:13-16

  2. I have followed Randy Paush's journey as well & watched the special last night. How awesome his attitude was & the legacy he left behind. But I wondered if he was a Christian? He never spoke about it - & what an difference he could have made for the Kingdom if he included that.

    I'm sure God has something wonderful in store for you through this - dont be scared! God's in control!

  3. God I'm trusting you in this. Your will be done!

  4. I think it is wonderful that God has imparted that radical urgency in your spirit! The Lord has challenged me to have some pretty tough conversations with some loved ones in my life along the same lines.
    More Christians need to be able to look past the outside shells of people and the layers of things that don't have eternal significance and speak straight to the poor, deceieved souls who are headed straight for hell. That's what Jesus did.
    Also, I did a little research on Randy Pausch and found the website to the church to which he had a membership, and I am sorry to say that I don't believe he was a Christian. Check out this link What a shame, not just for this gentleman but for others who think this type of religion will secure eternal salvation.
    This is a quote from the website of this particular church's beliefs: "We believe that personal experience, conscience, and reason should be the final authorities in religion. In the end religious authority lies not in a book, person, or institution, but in ourselves."
    Honestly, it makes me sick to my stomach.

  5. I didn't do the research as well as I could have about his religious convictions and where (if any) church's he could have attended.

    Thanks for pointing that out Jennifer!