Okay, so what I'm about to share is something that I am freaking out a little bit about to be totally honest with you. I feel like God is taking me someplace that I never dreamed of going. A place where all my biggest fears are going to be laid out and I'm going to have to face them head-on. The only thing I am feeling right now is fear and anxiety but at the same time I am somehow feeling anticipation and eagerness because it's hard to say what God wants to do in me through this.
Yesterday as I was cutting grass, (the time when I do a lot of my thinking, praying and reflecting), God spoke something to me that made me stop dead in my tracks. This is what it sounded like...
"I want you to write a letter to anyone and everyone you care about or means anything to you, (for some reason my brother was the one I kept thinking of the most) and tell them exactly what you would say to them if you knew that tomorrow would be your last day on earth"!!!
I nearly lost it! And since God spoke those words to me yesterday I haven't been able to shake it at all. In fact later that day Erica and I was watching the special on Randy Pausch author of The Last Lecture and it drove home the point even more! The special featured the life of Randy and progressed throughout his first getting the diagnosis of cancer, to the last lecture speech, and right up to just before he passed away.
For some reason God is taking me down this road and I have no idea why. In fact it scares me, bad! But I know that I will not have been led down this road in vain. I'm trusting God to grow something out of this. And if it is only for me to learn and get a better appreciation for the gift of life itself then it will be worth it.
God I'm trusting you in this. Your will be done!